so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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