Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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