The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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