my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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