I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
