forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
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This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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