I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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