i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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