You just made me feel so damn special
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
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He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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