I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The air taste purple.
Randomize