So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
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i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
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id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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