So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize