I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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