I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.