the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.