You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.