Moan for me like Helen Keller
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now