I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
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she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
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looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.