he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
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She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
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I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center