I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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