I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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