and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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