i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize