It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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