she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
