I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...