You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation