Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?