i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
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She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
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I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive