Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She's the barista slut.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
The air taste purple.
Randomize