i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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