i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
