Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
So vagazzling was a success
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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