My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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