come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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