***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
