I am in a vortex of obligation.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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