i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
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When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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