Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
did you just send me my own nude
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
