they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
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I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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