you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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