Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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