I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
