If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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