i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.