I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.