dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
