Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
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Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
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I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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