You smell like stripper and shame
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
