Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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