your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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