I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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