Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
