How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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