So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
