I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize