Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
