how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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